As you may know, my husband was laid off last March, and in June he started his own business. While we waited to see if the business would bring in the funds to pay our mortgage, we had the house on the market. We put it up in May, and had it off by August. Until December we had not missed a single payment.
In October, Nathan and I figured out that my training in Mary Kay was a huge asset to Lawson Design Firm (LDF), so I worked twice a week making cold calls for new business. Thanks to the experience and training the Lord gave me through direct sales, coupled with Nathan's natural sales ability, October was a fantastic month for LDF. It is the highest month to date for our budding company.
A month of working part time away from home began to wear on me, not to mention bog Nathan down with more work than he could handle alone. So we decided that Nathan would hire a commission based sales representative. That would free me to work full-time at home (and not leave housework undone, which drives me crazy) and would also free Nathan to work on new projects without having to take off twice a week while I took our one car out cold-calling.
It seemed like a good plan and we were excited about it. Nathan held some interviews and hired the only person who seemed totally excited about the job. He was given a 60 day contract which was also a probationary period. During that time, he was to bring in 5K in new sales, or he would not be offered a new contract. With our new sales associate on board, Nathan and I both sat back and relaxed.
The only problem with that is our new associate did not make one sale. He quit just a week or so before his probationary period was over. During the time he "worked" for LDF he lost a major contract, and nearly scared off a client we had been working with since October by being too pushy. The only good thing we can say about his sales skills is that we do have one strong lead from him to follow up on tomorrow.
Well, the time we relaxed was did not yield good results. In fact, we are now two months behind on our mortgage, and have not paid even one bill for the month of January. So all that talk of me being and feeling safe in the Lord was severely tested last week. I guess it still is being tested. When will I learn to stop saying that I've learned not to worry? I think that I just need to learn to keep quiet!
So anyway, a spirit of despair threatened to take over Lawson House (the name Nathan and I have given to our household) for the past 11 days. We have blamed ourselves for spiritual weakness, our sales associate for being so bad at sales, our attitudes, and questioned our ability to run a business. We even questioned if starting LDF was a big mistake.
Our mortgage lender called and called and sent letters trying to get us to accept "President Obama's Making Home Affordable Plan," and used the "f" word (foreclosure) with each contact with us. Needless to say, we felt trapped and even felt like we were drowning.
So we did all we knew to do. We argued with each other, called out desperately to God, and prayed and prayed and prayed.
Now the house is back on the market, and we have worked out a reasonable plan with the mortgage company to pay what we owe. We did NOT accept the government plan. The reasons for that are for another blog. Anyway, we worked out a plan with our lender, not the government.
We were hit square between the eyes with the fact that God blessed LDF when Nathan and I worked together. This is not to say that we think God wants me to work for LDF forever. But we definitely have decided to go back the October model. We have recommitted to both of us working as hard as we can, and not to take one step with LDF that we do not have PERFECT peace about.
We still don't know exactly what it is that we did wrong. Was it a spiritual weakness? Was it some sin? Was it the mere fact that this time of the year is the toughest on sales nationwide? Who knows?
But we do know that our faith was tested. We were tempted to despair, and struggled with the enemy of our souls against worry, anger, and a host of other negative emotions. But some truths kept coming to mind. One was Matthew 6 in regards to God taking care of our needs. And the other was more prevalent, 2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair"
So the fact of the matter is that we are out of imminent danger of foreclosure, and can focus on the other bills that need to be paid for this month, including a credit card bill that we are court-ordered to pay. That's just the raw truth about it. Honestly, most of our financial woes we brought completely on ourselves. What we deal with not is not punishment from God, but the mere natural consequences of sin. Truth be told, the Lord has been gracious to spare us of what we really deserve, because "he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve" (Psalm 103:10). By God's grace, we only have two credit cards left to pay on. But it is still true that if we had not taken out so much debt in the first years of our marriage, we would not be in the mess we are in now. God has forgiven us, and removed that sin from us. But there are still consequences.
Like I said, though, God is notorious for NOT giving us what we deserve. We are headed into the work week with a joyful expectation, and a peace that only He can give. Our circumstances have not changed, but our hearts have.
We do have two new leads, though. One contacted us from another state, which is particuarly exciting. The other one is a contact made by our sales associate. Hopefully, we can make enough money to get caught up on our bills and find some "stability" again (and take the house back off the market). But until then, we choose to trust and obey, and thank God for never giving up on us!
As for me, I will not say that I have learned my lesson. I am only grateful that He continues to work on my stubborn heart!
No comments:
Post a Comment