Nagging

Yep, it's that thing that all of us Christian wives say we don't do, but probably all struggle with from time to time. Okay, so maybe YOU don't. But I sure do! I'll keep this all about my struggle, to keep from stepping on anybody's toes.

I did my internship for Teaching English as a Foreign Language in a small town in South Korea. As is typical for Asian students, I was given many gifts while I was there. Since I was engaged to be married within weeks of returning from South Korea, several of my gifts were wedding gifts.

One in particular was a set of Korean Wedding Ducks. These are a male and female wooden mallard ducks. The female mallard has a ribbon tied around her beak to remind the new wife not to nag. Yes, that ribbon was lost years ago, and I have not bothered to tie a new one.

We have all heard that we cannot change our spouses, but for some reason I just keep trying. For instance, for over seven years I have been urging, begging and even demanding that my husband say "excuse me" when he burps. He just won't do it. To tell you the truth, he does not change any of his patterns of behavior based on my "advice", "sincere heart-to-hearts", "arguing", "complaining" or any other euphemism for nagging.

Well, lately my husband has just hasn't been himself. Yes, he still refuses to say "excuse me" when gasses emit from his body. That has become an endless game between us. What I mean is that it seemed like there was something bothering him deep down. In a place in his spirit that only God could get to. I had my speculations on what the problem was, but didn't know for sure. After all, I could only see how he was looking different and not acting like himself. I could not, however, see into his soul.

So I tried something new this morning in my morning devotions. I decided to spend most of the time praying for him. My prayers were all over the place, trying to psycho-anaylize and spiritualize Nathan's feelings, and then ask God to fix problems perceived there. In my conversation with the Lord, I heard one message loud and clear. Only He knew what was facing my husband. I needed simply to pray that God would speak to Nathan, and trust that he would listen.

That sounded like a really good plan. I told God that I was not able to give my husband a spiritual diagnosis, nor qualified to tell God what was wrong and give Him the prescription to fix Nathan. I told God that I trusted that Nathan would listen because he truly wants to be God's man.

Incidentally, I have had to eat crow more than once when I have been on my knees praying for Nathan. More than once when I have been asking God to make Nathan more patient with me, God has shown me how difficult I am to live with. There have been other times that I have begged God to show Nathan how my answer to a financial problem is better than his, only for God to humble me with the realization that Nathan was right all along. In short, I have been on my knees pointing my finger at Nathan, only to have God hold up a mirror to show my finger pointing back at me.

Anyways, I finished my quiet time then went about my day. Late in the afternoon I got a call from Nathan. He was very excited about a truth that God had revealed to him. Now, what he was dealing with is personal, and so I won't share it. I will say, however, that all of my diagnoses were completely off. But God knew, and He spoke to the heart of the problem.

And guess what? God fixed it, and didn't even need me to do it. I think I need to find a replacement ribbon for that female mallard...

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16b NLT