My Sweet Pea

There is so much about God's love that I did not understand until I became a mother. My Sweet Pea was born a year ago December, after a bitter struggle with infertility, endometriosis, surgeries, and doctor upon doctor. The moment I saw her, all the struggle was instantly rewarded.

To this day, there are few sounds I love to hear more than my Sweet Pea's voice, especially when she calls, "mama-mama-mama". She is a joy to my heart when she's being sweet, when she needs her diaper changed, when she's slapping me (which hurts, by the way) when she's laughing and when she's crying.

I cannot imagine a single thing that I would not do for her, if it were in my power to do it, and if it would not hurt her.

But there are some things that are beyond my power. For example, I cannot make food instantly appear when she is hungry. She must wait for me to prepare her food. Not only that, I cannot make her pain disappear immediately when she bumps her head on the hardwood floor. Possibly the most frustrating of my incapabilities is that I cannot understand what she tries so hard to tell me through baby babble.

There are also things that I cannot do for her because they would hurt her. I cannot let her play with my knife, even though it obviously holds her curiosity. I also cannot let her play in the toilet. Nor can I allow her to pull on the dog's ears.

But do you know what? She never doubts that I will feed her. She does not wonder if she will have a place to sleep, or if I will hold her when she's sad or upset. She assumes that if she wants her "mama-mama-mama" that I will come running. You know why? Because she trusts me. She does not doubt that her mama has it under control.

Such a lesson to be learned from Sweet Pea! Here I am, a sinful flesh-and-blood human being, yet I long and strive to love my daughter. I do all that I can to insure her health, happiness, and total well-being. And she never doubts me.

Yet, I am God's child. The God of this universe is perfect and holy. He does not have limitations like I do. In fact, He does not have any limitations. He loves me so much that he gave His Son for me, to insure my eternity with Him. He withholds that which would harm me, and lavishes all sorts of blessings on me.

Yet look at me! On any given day you could come to my house and find me fretting. Bills need to be paid. Groceries to be bought. Relationships need to be mended. Dreams long to be fulfilled. I wonder how similar my cries are to Sweet Pea's in the ears of God...

How sad that my daughter can trust me, but I have trouble trusting God.

Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!